I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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