Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
