We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize