Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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