they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize