I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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