Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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