So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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