It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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