i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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