I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
