If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
