You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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