I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
