you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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