I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
