just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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