Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
