In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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