Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
