I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
