I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
