I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need to calm my uterus...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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