i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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