so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
