How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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