Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
