you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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