I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
