well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
