I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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