My Higher Power is John Stamos
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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