nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
