dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You need Xanax blowdarts
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
