i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
