Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize