Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
