in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
