We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
