I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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