i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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