i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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