i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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