Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
