carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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