I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
