Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize