why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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