whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My dick has a subreddit
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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