Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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