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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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