was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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