dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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