I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
