She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
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I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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