I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
