i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
