help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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