Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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