It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize