Is it normal to miss your booty call?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
