if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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