Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we should paint friendship bongs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
