you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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