do herpes really smell.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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